Deadly Emotions and Feelings of Sima Yi
by Dark Devil14
Summary: What would happen to Wei if Sima Yi gained different emotions and feelings everyday? What would happen if he was too hyper? Too Sad? Too Angry? Too Gay? Too Whatever?
1. Example: Hyper

**What would it be like if Sima Yi was hyper for one whole day?**

In the kingdom of Wei…

Cao Cao: SIMA YI STOP!

Sima Yi was jumping on the couch and running like a sissy.

Zhang He: I told you not to give him so much chocolate!

Cao Cao: How would I know!

Sima Yi: Wanna go play?

Zhang He: NO!

Sima Yi: AWW! YOU SUCK! GAYASS!

Zhang He: Fatass!

Sima Yi: Vagina!

Zhang He: How could you!

Sima YI: HAHAHAHAH!

He ran outside after bothering Zhang He.

Zhen Ji: hmmm…I wonder…

Sima Yi jumped on top of Zhen Ji.

Sima Yi: Give me a piggyback ride!

Zhen Ji: What are you doing?

Cao Pi came and saw Sima Yi on top of his wife.

Cao Pi: Sima Yi! GET OFF MY WIFE!

Sima Yi: Until she gives me a piggyback ride!

Zhen Ji: Husband! Help ME!

Cao Pi grabbed hold of Sima Yi's legs and attempted to pull him off of her.

Sima Yi: I don't wanna go yet!

Sima Yi held on to Zhen Ji's waist tighter.

Cao Pi saw and became jealous.

Zhen Ji: (started to laugh) HAHAHA! That tickles!

Sima Yi: You like it? I know you like it! I Love this!

Cao Pi: SIMA YI!

Sima Yi: I'll be back later! (Kisses Zhen Ji's face and runs off)

Cao Pi: BASTARD!

Zhen Ji: Oh! Leave him alone!

Sima Yi saw Dian Wei, so he ran by him and pounded his head.

Dian Wei: HEY!

Sima Yi: HAHAHAHA!

**This is just a short one because I'm just starting. This is just an example of the rest of my work.. So… Enjoy…submit an emotion if you like…I might delete this story. just seeing if anyone likes my latest idea…This Story…haha**


	2. Sad

**What would happen if Sima Yi was to be sad for one whole day?**

Sima Yi was upstairs his room, when he decided to come down.

Zhang He: Hey Sima Yi!

Sima Yi wanted to cry because of his sadness.

Zhang He: What's wrong?

Sima Yi dropped to the floor and started to cry.

Zhang He: OMG!

Zhang He tried to help out Sima Yi but couldn't…

Zhang He: It's ok! Don't cry!

Sima Yi just kept on crying on the floor. Soon, people started to come in and noticed that Zhang He was next to a crying Sima Yi.

Cao Pi: Zhang He! What did you do you Sima Yi?

Zhang He: I didn't do anything!

Cao Pi: Liar!

Zhen Ji: Yeah! Sima Yi never cries! And if he did, it would have been very intesnse for him to! What did you do?

Zhang He: I told you! I didn't!

Cao Cao: Lies! Get him executed now!

Zhang He: WHAT?

Guards started to come in and took him away to be executed.

Zhang He: I LOVE YOU SIMA YI!

That was the last words he ever said to anyone…

Cao Cao: Sima Yi…are you alright?

Sima Yi stood up, wiping his face of his tears, and went to Zhen Ji, giving her a hug of relief.

Zhen Ji: I don't know what Zhang He did to you but he's gone now…

She hugged him back as if he were her own child.

Cao Pi: You can let go now…

Zhen Ji: Never! Sima Yi needs our attention…

Cao Pi: Not that much right?

Zhen Ji: You're just jealous…

Cao Pi: …maybe…

**Yeah right! …I'm jealous…haha…whatever…Next Chapter is…I don't know…some kind of emotion…**


	3. Gay

**What would happen if Sima Yi were to be gay for one day?**

**Dead  
ZHANG HE**

Sima Yi: What the…why do I have this feeling for….? Guys?

He was wondering about that when someone showed up…it was Xiahou Dun.

Xiahou Dun: Sima Yi my good friend! How are you?

Sima Yi: umm? I'm feeling…fine..?

Xiahou Dun: Good for you!

Sima Yi was shaking when he passed by him. He looked back and was concentrating on his ass…

Sima Yi: (thinking)…oh god!

Sima Yi jumped on top of him and just touched him in places and stuff…

Xiahou Dun: What are you doing!

Sima Yi: (sexily voice) I don't' know? What do you want me to do?

Xiahou Dun: Get off of me!

Xiahou Dun rolled over, causing him to be on top of Sima Yi.

Sima Yi: (sexily voice) Oh? So you want to be on top of me? You should have told me.

Xiahou Dun: What?

Cao Cao came by and saw those two on the floor.

Cao Cao: Xiahou Dun! What are you doing to Sima Yi?

Xiahou Dun: What! I didn't do it!

Cao Cao looked at Sima Yi. His eyes were closed, so he thought that he was dead, but Sima Yi actually closed his eyes for enjoyment.

Cao Cao: Get off him!

Xiahou Dun did what he asked, but Cao Cao called for guards.

Xiahou Dun: Why cousin?

Cao Cao: I have to. You attempted to harass my strategist, and for that…you must be executed before you cause anyone more damage!

Xiahou Dun: OMG! You are my cousin! Why do you not trust me?

Cao Cao: I saw everything! I don't need you to tell me anything!

The guards took Xiahou Dun away and Cao Cao helped Sima Yi up.

Cao Cao: Are you ok Sima Yi?

Sima Yi: Yeah…until you came along.

Cao Cao: What?

Sima Yi: Oh…nothing…

He said that and left Cao Cao…confused.

**HAHAHA! OMG! I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF WRITING THIS!**

**I should have written more action huh? You know…with Sima Yi and Xiahou Dun…. but…I didn't want it to be that…. sexual…ok…whatever.**


	4. Mad

**What would happen if Sima Yi were to be MAD for one day?**

**Dead:  
Zhang He****...Xiahou Dun**

**WARINING: Xu Zhu Lovers…stay away.**

I don't know what happened but Sima Yi was furious about something. Now, he isn't really feeling well…

Sima Yi was wondering around being pissed about something. He always wanted to be alone when something is wrong with him. No one ever knows what will happen to that person who disturbs him.

Stopping, he punched the wall several times. He began to bleed. Looking at the wounds, he got even angrier, so he punched the wall one last time but ended up hitting someone walking by.

He stopped and noticed that is was Xu Zhu. There he was lying on the ground, dead. Xu Zhu was covered in Sima Yi's blood and his as well. Sima Yi punched him so hard that it made an opening to Xu Zhu's stomach.

Standing there Sima Yi saw many things that he shouldn't be. Some were fat, food, bones, tissue, and basically the insides of a body.

Sima Yi was angry but scared about what he did, so he dragged Xu Zhu to the field.

He began digging a hole to bury the fatass.

Minutes later, Sima Yi was done so he returned to clean up the blood. When he got there, he saw any people gathering around the blood.

Cao Cao: What is this?

Sima Yi: UM! I found Xu Zhu coughing out blood!

Cao Cao: And you didn't help him?

Sima Yi: (lied) I tried to but he just fell down, and died, making a loud noise.

Cao Cao: So that was the loud noised I heard

Sima Yi: Yes…

Cao Cao: So? Where is he now?

Sima Yi: I gave him a proper burial.

Cao Cao: Oh God! Who is going to serve under me now!

Sima Yi: You still have all of the others too you know!

Cao Cao: Yeah..I guess…but who will eat all of our food like Xu Zhu?

Sima Yi: Dian Wei

Cao Cao: I guess you're right

People were already cleaning all the blood, so Sima Yi left, still angry…

Sima Yi: (thinking) That should have been someone else! I could easily take out that baby…oh well…emotions are deadly…. I should have emotions more often...

**I know this isn't Humorous...but...I don't like...him...it shouldn't be funny for him...Xu Zhu that is...not Sima Yi...he's cool! **


	5. Sexy Licious

**What would it be if Sima Yi were to feel Sexy for one whole day?**

**I don't think this is an emotion, but I just want to have fun ok!**

**Dead:**

**Zhang He**

**Xiahou Dun**

**Xu Zhu**

Sima Yi looking at playgirl magazines decided to bother someone. It was summer and it was a very hot day. He got outside and everyone was having a barbeque.

Cao Pi: Sima Yi! Join us for this BBQ!

Sima Yi: Great idea!

Sima Yi stated to strip out of his clothes and jumped in the pool. (Yes…they have a pool)(He has boxers on…or a swimsuit…don't be sick minded…lol)

He got out and just sat on a resting chair getting a tan.

Xiahou Yuan offered him a hotdog. Siam Yi gladly took it and ate it.

Cao Pi: Wanna go swim?

Zhen Ji: Sure?

Cao Pi: Just take off that pathetic bathing suit of yours…and get NAKED!

Zhen Ji: HAHA! In your dreams!

Cao Pi: OH! It will come true!

Cao Pi tried to make Zhen Ji take it off…

Zhen Ji: HEY! Stop it!…

She runs in the house and he follows her.

Cao Cao: My son! Don't be an idiot!

Cao Cao runs in the house trying to stop him.

Xu Huang: Everyone! Let's go see!

Everyone follows him except for Xiahou Yuan and Sima Yi.

Xiahou Yuan: Isn't that stupid?

Sima Yi: Uh huh…can I ask you one thing?

Xiahou Yuan: Sure?

Sima Yi: Do you think I'm sexy?

Xiahou Yuan: I don't know…

Sima Yi: Want to take a closer look?

Sima Yi gets up the chair and starts to walk closer and closer to Xiahou Yuan. Xiahou Yuan backs away.

Xiahou Yuan: Umm…this isn't proper!

Sima Yi: But you didn't tell me if I were sexy or not!

Still, Sima Yi gets closer but Xiahou Yuan backs away.

Xiahou Yuan: I…

He fell in the pool, and the bad thing is that he can't swim, so he started to drown.

Xiahou Yuan: Si…ma…Yi…Help me!

Sima Yi: Not unless you tell me if I am or not!

Xiahou Yuan swimming for his life couldn't talk, and so he ran out of air and died in the pool, sinking to the bottom.

Sima Yi: Pity.

Cao Pi: Zhen Ji!

Everyone came out of the house and back to the pool.

Cao Ren: Where is Xiahou Yuan?

Cao Cao: Yeah…wasn't he with you Sima Yi?

Sima Yi: (lied) Yeah…he was but he said that he would go get some more hotdogs.

Zhen Ji: But we have plenty…

Sima Yi: I guess he wanted to make sure, just in case we were all hungry.

Xu Huang: Fine to me.

So everyone forgot about Xiahou Yuan and continued with the party.

At night when everyone was asleep, Sima Yi swam under the pool to get Xiahou Yuan's body.

Sima Yi: If only you had told me, you would still be alive.

He dragged the body to where he buried Xu Zhu, and dug another hole. Throwing the body in, he gave his last words to him. _Goodbye my friend._

Morning came and no one notices Xiahou Yuan's disappearance. So when Sima Yi woke up, he felt weird. His emotion was…

**Find out on the next chapter.**

**This was a really messed up one. Sorry for that. I'll see if I can make them better.**


	6. Scared As HELL

**What would happen if Sima Yi were to be EXTREMELY SCARED (of anything) for one whole day?**

**THANKS Bunnyboiler…thanks for the Emotion….**

**AT LEAST SOMEONE HELPS ME AROUND!**

**Dead:**

**Zhang He**

**Xiahou Dun**

**Xu Zhu**

**Xiahou Yuan**

Sima Yi was quietly studying in his room. Wait…it wasn't studying…he was reading a magazine titled "Women Strategists Gone Wild."

It was 5:00am and Sima Yi had fallen asleep…

11:00pm…

Sima Yi woke up…

Sima Yi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

He was panting as if he had had a very bad dream…oh…wait…he did…

Sima Yi: Oh my…people…can be scary…how come I haven't found out about that?

He heard voices outside. Scared, he ran under his covers. Underneath them, he heard footsteps coming up to his room.

Pang De: SIMA YI! Come down! Girls Gone Wild is on!

Looking, he saw nothing. Pang De thought, _it's on commercial, so let's just look around._

He stepped in and went to the big opened window.

Pang De: Hmm…the moon is sure round!

Sima Yi, still under the covers, was scared that Pang De might kill him, so he thought of something to do.

THE MAGAZINE! Those girls like to push other girls for fun! That made them happy! I wonder if it will make me happy!

So…quickly and quietly…he got out of the covers and tiptoed behind Pang De.

Pang De: Oh my god…the full moon looks like the ass of a beautiful woman!

Pang De was right by the window and Sima Yi was right behind Pang De, so Sima Yi pushed Pang De out of his room by the window.

Pang De: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I MUST BE DREEEAAMMING!

It was a 10-story castle, and Sima Yi's room was the top floor, which makes Pang De a goner…

Sima Yi: I don't feel so scared anymore!

So, he just hopped of out his room. He saw many people, but he wasn't so afraid anymore.

Cao Cao: Where is Pang De? He's missing his favorite show!

Sima Yi: I don't know…I didn't see him the whole day.

Cao Cao: Bastard…must be looking at some porn magazines or something.

All: HAHAHA!

Sima Yi: hehe…yeah…

Cao Cao: Come! Watch Girls Gone Wild! They are getting,(lifts up an eyebrow and snickers) with other women!

Sima Yi: It's ok…I think I rather go upstairs and read some more.

Cao Cao: Are you sure? You're missing a lot.

Sima Yi: Yes…I'll be fine.

On the way back up, Sima Yi thought…_UH! Those people aren't HUMAN! GIRLS GONE WILD! I mean, DAMN!_

**HAHAHA…how was that?**

**I just thought of the Girls Gone Wild thing…just to make it funny…but I don't think it was that funny for you guys…was it?**


	7. Loved

**What if Sima Yi were to feel loved for one whole day?**

**Dead:**

**-Zhang He**

**-Xiahou Dun**

**-Xu Zhu**

**-Xiahou Yuan**

**I ran out of emotions, so I'll add in feelings too…sorry about that.**

**Oh yeah…no comedy in this one…just some sadness…**

Sima Yi was just sitting on the living room couch, bored, thinking.

I wonder if anyone loves me? I don't' think so. What do I do? I'm too shy to get with anyone.

All of the sudden Zhen Ji came in the room with two cups of tea.

Zhen Ji: Here you go Lord Sima Yi.

Sima Yi: What's this for?

Zhen Ji: I don't know. I saw you just sitting there bored, so I thought you might wanna drink something in the meanwhile.

Sima Yi: Oh. Would you like to join me?

Zhen Ji: Sure…

She sat down right next to Sima Yi.

15 minutes later…

Zhen Ji: Can I ask you something?

Sima Yi: Sure.

They both put their cups down on the table.

Zhen Ji: How can you stand being smart? Aren't there other things on your mind?

Sima Yi: I don't know. I'm just smart. It feels nice but I just don't know. People don't tend to recognize me. All they know is that I'm evil.

Zhen Ji: Isn't that sad?

Sima Yi: Yes…but you know, there are people here for me, right?

Zhen Ji: Of course!

Sima Yi: Like whom?

Zhen Ji: Everyone! How can they not care about you? You are the strategist of this kingdom. If they hated you, you won't be here right now.

Sima Yi signed.

Sima Yi: Do you care about me?

Zhen Ji: What? Of course I do!

Sima Yi: It doesn't seem like anyone does. They just talk as if I was just people. They don't love me…no one does (tears came out)

Zhen Ji, looking at him, gave him one big hug.

Zhen Ji: I love you. Isn't that good? Even though I'm married to Cao Pi, it doesn't mean I don't love you too.

Sima Yi surprised, also hugged her.

Sima Yi: You won't leave me right?

Zhen Ji: Of course not…none of us will.

Sima Yi: Thank You. I Love You Too.

Sima Yi continued to hug her, but he didn't know that he was hugging her too hard. She couldn't breath, so she couldn't really scream or anything. Zhen Ji tried to push herself away from him, but he was having peaceful moments, so he didn't feel anything but their hug. Soon after, the worst has happened…goodbye…Zhen Ji…

30 minutes…

After 30 minutes of hugging, Sima Yi finally let go of her. He saw her motionless, and thought she fell asleep, so he just slowly put her down in sleeping position. He took a step and looked back; to see probably his only loved one lying there, asleep.

Sima Yi: I'll see you when you wake up…I love you…

But sometime during the day, he found out that she had died but he didn't know what caused it…

He rushed to his room, sobbing with great blue tears.

Sima Yi: (sobbing) I thought you would never leave me! What did I do? What did I do to deserve this?

All his tears that dropped on the ground formed a puddle. Sima Yi looked in and saw the reflection of his lost loved one; Zhen Ji.

**I WAS SO SAD WRITING THIS…. it was because I was listening to "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Greenday…**

**That song ROCKS! And yet…it's so sad….**


	8. Perverted? Really? Am I Sure?

**Ok…I'm sorry that I haven't updated. Life is a bummer.**

**Whatever…**

**Requested By Chibi**

**What would it be like if Sima Yi were to be perverted?**

For about a while, Sima Yi forgot ALL about Zhen Ji. He never really gave a thought about her ever again. Since it was 4 months ago that he last saw her, she has been really busy planning for battle. But for now, they are on some dumb vacation.

Outside the palace, the guys were playing football and just sitting and sleeping. Just think of it as a party. (Food, drinks, games, ect.)

Cao Cao: My son, now TRY and throw the football but not at my face!

Cao Pi: Why! You know how hard throwing these things are?

Cao Cao: No…it's easy. I don't know why you can't.

Cao Pi threw the football ignoring his father. Meanwhile, Dian Wei was blindfolded with a stick.

Xu Huang: Hit the dang piñata.

Dian Wei: I'll hit it if you shut the hell up! I'm trying to concentrate!

Xu Huang: Concentrate on what? Men?

Dian Wei heard him but as well ignored him. With the sick, he took a swing and missed. Angry, he took another swing and missed again!

Xu Huang: Last chance!

Dian Wei furious, he got his ax and broke the stick in half.

Xu Huang: You'll still miss.

Dian Wei: We'll see about that.

He stood there, building up strength.

Zhang Liao came by and saw Dian Wei popping out muscles and veins.

Zhang Liao: What are you doing? Are you having constipation? Or are you trying to blow one big fart out of your body?

Xu Huang was on the floor, laughing.

Zhang Liao: What? What!

Dian Wei was ready, and he took one big swing, but he didn't hit the piñata.

Dian Wei: Whao! That didn't feel like a piñata at all! What did I hit!

Zhang Liao: Look at your ax.

Wei took off his blindfold and looked. He saw a flattened up football.

Dian Wei: What the hell?

Cao Cao was shouting from afar.

Cao Cao: LOOK WHAT YOU DID! THAT WAS MY LAST BALL!

Cao Pi: Why in the world would you hit the piñata with an ax!

Dian Wei: Because I was imagining the piñata as your ugly head!

Pissed off, Cao Pi got a rock and threw it at Dian Wei.

Cao Cao: You know you threw the wrong direction right?

Cao Pi: …damn…you…

Cao Cao: I mean, even your mom can throw better. Even if she threw the ball at my face too, it was always harder than yours.

Cao Pi: Oh yeah, yo mamma's weak, she died from an ant bite!

Cao Cao! You son of a….

Meanwhile Sima Yi was sleeping on a chair, a beach chair.

Pang De: (Poining to Sima Yi) Look at him.

Cao Ren: You're disgusting.

Pang De: What? Look!

Sima Yi was drooling.

Cao Ren: You know you like it!

Pang De: Whatever! Anyways. I dare you to touch it!

Cao Ren: I rather touch my own ass then that!

Pang De: Oh My!

Cao Ren was paying no attention to Pang De but was looking at the sky.

Pang De: What is it?

Cao Ren: Look!

Both of them were now looking.

Pang De: What is that?

Cao Ren: Your mom.

Pang De: Shut up…what is it?

Cao Ren didn't answer. They just kept on looking….

It was the rock that Cao Pi threw. It landed on Sima Yi's head, which woke him up.

Sima Yi: You guys hit my head didn't you?

De and Laio: No! A rock just flew by!

Sima Yi: Sure! And feces move! Stupid…excuses.

After he said that, he got off the chair and walked away.

_Damn it! My head hurts. And I have this…feeling…Oh no…not again! But this time…I feel………oh gosh._

Sima Yi was walking and again thinking. He had to go find another chair to sit on before he collapses. He found one right next to the piñata, which was broken up to pieces.

Cao Pi: Give me some you fatass!

Dian Wei: This candy is mine! I got it!

Dian Wei pushes Cao Pi and he fell and landed on Sima Yi's knees. Sima Yi's nerve shocked him, and he began to…like it?

Cao Pi: Sorry! It's Dian Wei's fault I swear!

Sima Yi: Whatever.

They all started to argue and continue the party, but as for Sima Yi, he…ended up…in his room.

_What's happening to me? What is happening? WHAT IS HAPPENING?_

It was 4 o'clock in the morning and Sima Yi came down his room. On the couch, he saw Cao Pi, sleeping. Sima Yi quietly walked closer to him. He sat on the couch next to the sleeping lord and looked at him.

_What did you do to me? I get…feelings now! What did you do to me!_

Cao Pi was shifting his body and that scared Yi. After taking his position, Sima Yi finally stopped to worry. Soon after, Sima Yi had no idea to what he was doing and started to poke his face. Then after that, starting to just rub his face.

_It's warm…NO NO! I CAN'T DO THIS! WHAT AM I THINKING? But…I can't. Stop._

Again, Cao Pi shifted his body but this time, his hand was touching Sima Yi's knee. Having another nerve shock, Sima Yi was shacking, but didn't want to wake him up. 5 mintes later, Sima finally stopped, and was playing with his hand, looking at Cao's face.

_He's…NO NO NO NO! IT'S HIM! HE'S THE ONE DOING THIS! I MUST…BUT…I CAN'T!_

Cao Pi: Sima…Yi…

Sima Yi as shocked to see him call out his name in his sleep.

_This…has…to…end…before…someone…gets…hurt…_

So then, Sima Yi quietly got off the couch and into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he came back with a knife. We went toward Cao Pi and aimed the knife to his chest.

_I…I…I don't know if I can do this…what if…_

Cao Pi started to mumble… 'I…will…rule…this…kingdom.'

Sima Yi didn't want to hurt the innocent Cao Pi.

_But was he THAT innocent?_

Through the whole night, Sima Yi though weather to think of to kill him or not. Morning came and Cao Pi finally woke up. Slowly opening his eye, he saw Sima Yi's head laying his side.

Cao Pi: What a pity. Such a smarty man should know better than to drunk himself like me.

Quietly, he left the room, leaving Sima Yi.

And what about the knife? It was UNDER the couch, where Cao Pi would never find it.

Pang De: Hey…check it out! It's Sima Yi again…

Zhang Liao: Why do you always look at him?

Pang De: To see if a sleep bubble comes out if his nose.

Zhang Liao: You know what? You are just…perverted…in ways I don't wanna know.

Pang De: How is that perverted?

Zhang Liao: It's not THAT, it's YOU!

**DAMN IT! I'm sorry this chapter was so bad…It's hard for me to think after so long. All I can think of is my next vacation…Maybe then…I can get back to work. For now…just be patient with me.**


End file.
